tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91540092024-03-18T20:30:43.733-07:00Confessions From A Stay At Homo (SAHM)giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.comBlogger1008125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-44792828194285567882011-06-15T13:10:00.000-07:002011-06-16T08:42:41.295-07:00(Over) Parenting, Ego, Self-Esteem and the Therapy AccountA <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/">recent article on parenting</a> in the Atlantic Monthly by <a href="http://www.lorigottlieb.com/">Lori Gottleib</a>, a psychologist, speaks of adults coming into her office who "suffered from depression and anxiety, had difficulty choosing or committing to a satisfying career path, struggled with relationships, and just generally felt a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose." <br /><br />Historically, the author claims that the therapists were trained to look at the way the kids were parented. "Our main job as psychotherapists, in fact, was to 're-parent' our patients, to provide a 'corrective emotional experience' in which they would unconsciously transfer their early feelings of injury onto us, so we could offer a different response, a more attuned and empathic one than they got in childhood." <br /><br />But with these new disgruntled patients she couldn't find the "distracted father" or the "critical mother" or the "abandoning, devaluing, or chaotic caregivers" in their lives.<br /><br />The problem? Maybe parents are doing too much for their kids. <br /><br />Those parents nowadays.... <br /><br />Gottleib follows parenting advice over the years and finds a single underlying goal of good parenting that has held steady: to raise kids who will grow into productive, happy adults.<br /><br />The story reminds me of a couple of Woody Allen quotes. The first occurs in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giftitle/tt0075686/">Annie Hall</a>, where the character Alvy Singer says "I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable."<br /><br />Happiness is a strange thing. <br /><br />What is happiness? How do we measure it? How do I compare my happiness to your happiness? Or my happiness now to my happiness, say, a year ago. And has its definition changed over time?<br /><br />Surveys show that Americans were happiest in 1958.<br /><br />There's been a spate of articles in the field of <a href="http://www.mitpressjournals.org/doi/abs/10.1162/001152604323049361">economics about happiness</a> lately. <a href="http://www.nber.org/papers/w14969">Are women happy?</a> Are we happier than our parents? <a href="http://www.freakonomics.com/2008/04/23/the-economics-of-happiness-part-5-will-raising-the-incomes-of-all-raise-the-happiness-of-all/">Does money make us happy</a>? <a href="http://www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst?docId=57245310">Are gays happy</a>?<br /><br />Behavioral economics speaks a bit to happiness as well. And the research makes the whole question even more confusing because as it turns out our memories fail us. We remember things differently than we experience them, and that alters our perception of how happy we are/were. Remember that family vacation where you drove across the country in a hot station wagon sans dvd player and you and your brother fought the whole way? <br /><br />Wasn't it great?<br /><br />We also know that happiness is relative. It doesn't really matter how you feel, but how you feel relative to your peers. We know from experiments that people would prefer to be the top earner in a firm at $55,000/year than to be the bottom earner at $65,000 per year. <br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">Nowadays, it's not enough to be happy-if you can be even happier. The American Dream and the pursuit of happiness have morphed from a quest for general contentment to the idea that you must be happy at all times and in every way. 'I am happy,' writes Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project, a book that topped the New York Times best-seller list and that has spawned something of a national movement in happiness-seeking, 'but I'm not as happy as I should be.'</span> "<br /><br />Now, back to parenting and this quest for happy kids. Psychiatrist Paul Bohn of UCLA argues that in our quest for happy kids, "<span style="font-style:italic;">many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment--'anything less than pleasant,' as he puts it--with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.</span>"<br /><br /><a href="http://www.dankindlon.com/">Dan Kindlon</a> argues that "'It's like the way our body's immune system develops,' he explained. 'You have to be exposed to pathogens, or your body won't know how to respond to an attack. Kids also need exposure to discomfort, failure, and struggle. I know parents who call up the school to complain if their kid doesn’t get to be in the school play or make the cut for the baseball team. I know of one kid who said that he didn't like another kid in the carpool, so instead of having their child learn to tolerate the other kid, they offered to drive him to school themselves. By the time they’re teenagers, they have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less-than-perfect situations, yet parents often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness, which is 'I can fix this.''"<br /><br />Starting to sound familiar? <br /><br />It's painful to watch your kids in pain. If you're like me it's almost visceral. I can feel it in my stomach when I see Big fall or Eleven experience some heartache from a schoolgirl spat.<br /><br />Are we doing all of this to meet their needs or our own needs? <br /><br />Sure, there's the ego involved in seeing our kids succeed. But the article also argues that we have less community nowadays and are more isolated as adults. More of us are divorced and we genuinely like spending time with our kids. That and we're working longer hours and having fewer kids which translates into less time with our kids and a heightened degree of "preciousness" in time and quantity. We want to extend that however we can. <br /><br />We are so worried about damaging our kids' self-esteem and protecting this notion of happiness that we aren't doing what's best for them. We don't say "No", we don't require chores, we allow kids to quit when the going gets tough, we praise adequate performance or even minimal requirements all in the name of self-esteem and what ends up happening is that kids don't know where they stand. What are they REALLY good at? <br /><br />The article quotes a teacher who refused to be named "A kid will say, 'Can we get ice cream on the way home?' And the parent will say, 'No, it's not our day. Ice-cream day is Friday.' Then the child will push and negotiate, and the parent, who probably thinks negotiating is 'honoring her child's opinion,' will say, 'Fine, we'll get ice cream today, but don't ask me tomorrow, because the answer is no!'" The teacher laughed. "Every year, parents come to me and say, 'Why won't my child listen to me? Why won’t she take no for an answer?' And I say, 'Your child won’t take no for an answer, because the answer is never no!'"<br /><br />Barry Schwartz, at Swarthmore, believes that well-meaning parents give their kids so much choice on a daily basis that the children become not just entitled, but paralyzed. "The ideology of our time is that choice is good and more choice is better," he said. "But we've found that's not true."<br /><br />I couldn't agree more. Recently I found myself and BioMom "negotiating" over which picture package we were going to order for Eleven's dance class. Naturally she wanted the largest, most expensive package including a gazillion wallets (for all of her friends), twelve 8x10s (for all extended family members), a sculpture (because Big got one for hockey) and a poster (for her room). Adding up the dollars in my head it dawned on me that I would never have been allowed to partake in such a decision as a child. It was, literally, none of my business! I tried saying that to Eleven and she was astonished that I would consider such a purchase to be none of her business. <br /><br />Since then I've watched other decisions in which my kids feel they have a right to partake including meals, restaurants, television, decor and even major purchases. These are all things that I didn't have to, and wasn't allowed to worry about as a kid.<br /><br />I think the irony in this is that we treat kids in some sense as adults when they are young, but also as complete nincompoops. We let Eleven help us decide whether or not to buy a cabin in Northern Wisconsin, but we've never let her walk to the candy store four blocks away!!??!! Or we don't trust that she can find her way to and from the park?<br /><br />According to the article: "We didn't expect so much choice [when we were kids], so it didn't bother us not to have it until we were older, when we were ready to handle the responsibility it requires. But today, Twenge says, "we treat our kids like adults when they’re children, and we infantilize them when they’re 18 years old." <br /><br />All of these choices lead them to feel like they are entitled, which is negative in itself, but this, coupled with a desire to have them not experience discomfort allows them to choose away from the hard stuff (like practicing piano or guitar, do math homework or clean their room). And yes, I'm gonna get to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Chua">Amy Chua</a>, Tiger Mom and my hero. <br /><br />So back to happiness. And economics.<br /><br />The standard Neoclassical model of economics argues that we're just hedonists. We don't want to work (it is a cost to us) but we want to consume. We work to consume. And that's what increases our "utility" or happiness.<br /><br />I think the model couldn't be more wrong. Marx had it right when he argued that we can get happiness from work and accomplishment. <br /><br />And Nobel prize winner <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amartya_Sen">Amartya Sen</a> had it right with his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capability_approach">capabilities approach</a>. It is not only not enough, but it is simply not good to give our kids all of these choices and things, but not give them the tools to deal with the responsibilities. To let them fail and feel pain and hurt and learn that they can get over that. <br /><br />We've done all of these bad things. I'm not being preachy. But this article spoke to me. Our daughter wants to participate in the decision about which picture package to buy, but she doesn't want to experience the sore muscles, exhausted brain, callouses you get from a hard day's work or practice that would go into earning that money. <br /><br />We trust our kids with decisions about which grade school to attend (a neighbor of ours wanted her daughter to attend the Spanish immersion program until the daughter thought that it would be too difficult to only learn in Spanish, choosing instead the neighborhood school) but don't make them help out around the house by taking out the garbage, or sticking with guitar lessons and the regular difficulty of practice. <br /><br />"According to <a href="http://www.jeantwenge.com/">Jean Twenge</a>, research shows that much better predictors of life fulfillment and success are perseverance, resiliency, and reality-testing—qualities that people need so they can navigate the day-to-day." <br /><br />So.... Happiness. Maybe we need to rethink the whole thing and not set up our kids to think that happiness is about getting ipods and ice cream and avoiding sweat.<br /><br />Here's another one from Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] "There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly." <br /><br />Maybe parenting shouldn't be about making happy kids. It's like the fish analogy: give the kids stuff that makes them happy now, or the tools to be competent adults and let them figure out what makes them happy.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-56503014785065616442011-05-24T12:14:00.000-07:002011-05-24T12:16:33.351-07:00Secret Camera on Gay Parents...So I suck as a blogger lately. Well, more than lately. We've had an extraordinarily busy year. Funny, the new baby thing seems easy from this perspective. I'm hoping to update more now that school is out and I've got the push of the academic http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifyear behind me. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif<br /><br />In the mean time check out this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhl9MLno424">awesome video</a> on reactions to gay parents and a rude waitress at a cafe in the south.... This makes me feel optimistic for <a href="http://www.startribune.com/politics/statelocal/122401039.html">the upcoming vote in Minnesota</a>. <br /><br />AAARRRGGG!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-67455847260202730302011-03-23T10:49:00.000-07:002011-03-23T10:52:33.217-07:00We Won't Wait for Spring<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO351KiaVPQtN-riEOvy0Blv-deX8JbzBTxdXmQRi1Wr3QcIxL-eh8Onz5r5K18Lk0NjKDE9Fhg9jF00samyd8-SLH06YBih3NU8O9UJpFvTxpIGmuUgZAnQnPqUMhSQo7Ptr5/s1600/Biking_in_snow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO351KiaVPQtN-riEOvy0Blv-deX8JbzBTxdXmQRi1Wr3QcIxL-eh8Onz5r5K18Lk0NjKDE9Fhg9jF00samyd8-SLH06YBih3NU8O9UJpFvTxpIGmuUgZAnQnPqUMhSQo7Ptr5/s320/Biking_in_snow.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587334761941007298" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-9369104124967573912011-01-05T17:05:00.001-08:002011-01-05T17:10:33.469-08:00Christmas at Horseshoe Lake<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB62JYPG78jiA1zwoAdl6m75BpDQ9PGP3wU7i1-MGnXPFoxO5x9t53aJ01C4pTqAY3p7pyUyGkYoYk-oTzn8Lmx0Wc9JbkyCT_8x4rSuNGaC20YxB1gkR1A6W81e4J1SMGtbvc/s1600/trees+on+hike+at+cabin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB62JYPG78jiA1zwoAdl6m75BpDQ9PGP3wU7i1-MGnXPFoxO5x9t53aJ01C4pTqAY3p7pyUyGkYoYk-oTzn8Lmx0Wc9JbkyCT_8x4rSuNGaC20YxB1gkR1A6W81e4J1SMGtbvc/s320/trees+on+hike+at+cabin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558873168214581442" /></a><br />We spent the week between Christmas and New Year's in Wisconsin. It was amazing. Snow and cuddling, and reading, and lego-ing, and dominoing, and Clue-ing, and hiking, and making bagels and making ice cream and loving.<br /><br />Below are the kids and a couple of friends crossing the foot-thick iced over lake to the island. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxKcYBzpgkuI6GWAK4ukTi5V-ce0Xc8SrzMXnBfqZ_yDvoaThYqLQnr-AhAN6yId-F9EVPom9Q_8LAeGLAhkHul7mIiQ7eWE2irFMaEYkU_i8c45iMUoc8pqAaZoL46-EYMilm/s1600/kids+2+island+3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxKcYBzpgkuI6GWAK4ukTi5V-ce0Xc8SrzMXnBfqZ_yDvoaThYqLQnr-AhAN6yId-F9EVPom9Q_8LAeGLAhkHul7mIiQ7eWE2irFMaEYkU_i8c45iMUoc8pqAaZoL46-EYMilm/s320/kids+2+island+3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558873801082174914" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-87243927659132496752010-12-21T07:37:00.000-08:002010-12-21T07:49:34.297-08:00DADT Repeal, 21 Years (almost) To The DayOn December 20th 1989, after seven four hour finals (literally) at the U.S. Air Force Academy, a couple of military police asked me in for questioning about some "acts of homosexuality." <br /><br />This was before Clinton's infamous Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy was enacted (which was intended to help gays in the military but ended up making it worse -- there were more discharges after DADT than before) and so I was relatively lucky: I didn't have to go to jail after admitting that I had, in fact, kissed a girl. <br /><br />The repeal of DADT happened 21 years later, almost to the day and, naturally, I have some mixed feelings. <br /><br />Of course, I am thrilled that the discriminatory policy is over, but like desegregation in schools and measures that allowed women into previously male-dominated workplaces (the military academies, for example, only let in women for the first time for the graduating class of 1980) I don't envy those first groups of individuals to live in the new policy. That last class of men at the Air Force Academy, for example, have in their 1976 class ring a saying "LCWB" which stands for "last class with balls". <br /><br />Nice.<br /><br />And, of course, the repeal is bringing forth ghosts of Christmas past. <br /><br />Whoever let a 20 year old young woman drive to Denver from Colorado Springs, after having been told that she was being kicked out of college in the middle of her junior year, and that she would have to go home and tell her family for the first time that the cause of this eviction was her potential sexuality should be given a life sentence. <br /><br />I'm surprised I made it. <br /><br />And, as you probably suspected, I did not exactly receive a warm reception from my family. <br /><br />Ugh. <br /><br />But life has it's ways doesn't it? Those right-hand unexpected turns tend to teach you the most and I'm convinced that we can't always know what is best for ourselves, making omniscient decisions at age 17. <br /><br />Well, as Cousin put it on Facebook, I would never have had the opportunity to do her dishes in our communal apartment in Lincoln Nebraska had the discriminatory been repealed 21 years ago.<br /><br />And I would not have known virtually everyone in my life right now.<br /><br />I am so thankful for that.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-72773872297881478602010-12-09T08:18:00.001-08:002010-12-09T08:20:12.020-08:00He's a whole HANDFUL!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEholhAZymHLJcg8Lk8lbcAySrwU8gd4XpP6Q7CkkCulcdf4qXxSr4Q9M6b0gxN3USs9t7BhNfvaUTKZqTFlVjlz0ctOxTL9KsaFdP0-v7B6EgSp0ve-Lafb6-X5GIqrWa-x0cWu/s1600/IMG_2768.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEholhAZymHLJcg8Lk8lbcAySrwU8gd4XpP6Q7CkkCulcdf4qXxSr4Q9M6b0gxN3USs9t7BhNfvaUTKZqTFlVjlz0ctOxTL9KsaFdP0-v7B6EgSp0ve-Lafb6-X5GIqrWa-x0cWu/s320/IMG_2768.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548717851363761122" /></a><br />Happy Birthday Big!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-88505160131018504822010-11-23T08:34:00.000-08:002010-11-23T08:35:16.465-08:00New Study: No Child Abuse in Lesbian Headed Households!Check out the <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/zero-percent-of-lesbianraised-children-report-abus,18476/">Onion's spoof on this</a> -- particularly the comments.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-21068868537781856162010-11-16T07:29:00.000-08:002010-11-16T07:30:15.591-08:00Even for the Non-Economists. . .Check out this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTUY16CkS-k">incredibly funny YouTube video</a> explaining the Federal Reserve's recent actions. This is a great one for even those non-economists out there.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-52225936142022394192010-11-11T10:22:00.000-08:002010-11-11T10:29:16.289-08:00The Economist's Son: Preschool Year Two<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhChOiYgj9cDR-FU2Z3Sn6E_kh4f2WGjmIpOZBAPkFyW_PS45Hcm-LfPk0jlo2RCwYVaOR8jKFJz2q2fHnwQbZEdAzgO87MBRWucgkhyexXFVqGY_izggTngTctAhYvUdRodWkY/s1600/jumprope.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhChOiYgj9cDR-FU2Z3Sn6E_kh4f2WGjmIpOZBAPkFyW_PS45Hcm-LfPk0jlo2RCwYVaOR8jKFJz2q2fHnwQbZEdAzgO87MBRWucgkhyexXFVqGY_izggTngTctAhYvUdRodWkY/s320/jumprope.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538359382888870290" /></a><br /><br />Big is in his second year of preschool. <br /><br />It is amazing to watch him grow intellectually and emotionally. One day I showed up and he was jumping rope like a maniac. <br /><br />And now these past few days he is learning how to snap his fingers, practicing incessantly. <br /><br />I love when we are reading and he asks about something about which he has never heard: the other night was peanut brittle. <br /><br />Last night, after the bedtime routine while I was tucking him in, he asked "What is a necessity?"<br /><br />Maybe he has just become adept at extending the routine because this naturally lead into a discussion that not only defined necessity (a good that you NEED), but also it's opposite (luxury: a good that you WANT but don't NEED) as well as a discussion about another category that Big brought up that has yet to be defined explicitly by economists: the good that you NEED but don't WANT (vegetables).giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-4462179026260904742010-11-10T05:44:00.000-08:002010-11-11T07:58:56.828-08:00Why Do People Care So Much What Other People Do???<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcaoq9j96CQmLWaXDHlV-5EeLflGRkIkZB8pkfx0coSbFHx5wj_ow-3wtzW6LlEV-sYOVSc2vBpAYWqpE8-egVWHTeO0v3BVQJ1d20AH4b-CYDh69moaUXdil0dBNEAfeI5_DU/s1600/IMG_2578.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcaoq9j96CQmLWaXDHlV-5EeLflGRkIkZB8pkfx0coSbFHx5wj_ow-3wtzW6LlEV-sYOVSc2vBpAYWqpE8-egVWHTeO0v3BVQJ1d20AH4b-CYDh69moaUXdil0dBNEAfeI5_DU/s320/IMG_2578.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537922471974623090" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZxHaHYnT3CrvbVsgO8iUqokZp7zvkICmiedyh0QTGWDATAeQIFtYbee5o5T0sqOk3MG1it4FuEEd1iaENk9t1uq4oyod9dLpdR7MrhttZ-mrsVA4a1Nbe-wMOicVMuc_BfD7P/s1600/hermione+running.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZxHaHYnT3CrvbVsgO8iUqokZp7zvkICmiedyh0QTGWDATAeQIFtYbee5o5T0sqOk3MG1it4FuEEd1iaENk9t1uq4oyod9dLpdR7MrhttZ-mrsVA4a1Nbe-wMOicVMuc_BfD7P/s320/hermione+running.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537922467987533634" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBJLkITfyXVplENmBEl_YeAQFnDR4GY98rYr7hQGUgJGt7n39maObbjgd9Pk4ULvEV5vce-crcm5kM7n7Tjl88CkU-YIzg0lXl46Mbc_ignnarX-UNiQRMU1HnlZoOlNS4Oqug/s1600/hermiones+on+halloween.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBJLkITfyXVplENmBEl_YeAQFnDR4GY98rYr7hQGUgJGt7n39maObbjgd9Pk4ULvEV5vce-crcm5kM7n7Tjl88CkU-YIzg0lXl46Mbc_ignnarX-UNiQRMU1HnlZoOlNS4Oqug/s320/hermiones+on+halloween.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537922462676946194" /></a><br />NerdyAppleBottom has been <a href="http://www.mombian.com/2010/11/09/today-show-interviews-moms-of-boys-who-dress-up-as-girls/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Mombian+%28Mombian%29">all over the news lately </a>about the post <a href="http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/">she wrote about her son's awesome Halloween costume</a>. <br /><br />I loved the post with its rather antagonistic (to some) title "My Son Is Gay". It was sure to get some attention. But whoa. Seriously, people are freaking out about this. <br /><br />My main question, other than the obvious ones that in I'll get to, is why do people care so much what other people do? <br /><br />It seems to me that we should only really care what other people do if what they do affects us in some way or another. Economists call this "externalities" or spillover effects. Even the Ninth Circuit, expecting that the Prop 8 supporters in California will appeal Judge Walker's reversal of the anti-gay marriage law that narrowly passed in 2008, requires that the appellants have "standing":<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Standing is a legal doctrine with roots in the Constitution's Article III that requires a plaintiff to show harm or injury. "Essence of standing is that no person is entitled to assail the constitutionality of an ordinance or statute except as he himself is adversely affected by it," explains Black's Law Dictionary, an authoritative legal guide.</span><br /><br />See also George Saunders' satirical essay <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2004/03/08/040308sh_shouts">"My Amendment."</a><br /><br />So how is this kid, dressed as <a href="http://www.google.com/images?hl=&q=daphne+from+scooby+doo&rlz=1B3WZPB_enUS357US358&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=4aTaTOT8JIuTnwe02eHeAQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CDUQsAQwAA&biw=1280&bih=578">Daphne from Scooby Doo</a>, for ONE DAY affecting YOU???<br /><br />Firstly, the kid is probably not gay.<br /><br />As it turns out, a precious few of us on this planet are gay. <br /><br />Statistically speaking, that number is WAY less than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Kinsey">Kinsey</a> surmised (at 10%), probably reaching somewhere less than even four percent and differing for men and women.<br /><br />Secondly, though the debate about whether being gay is caused by nature or nurture (biology or socialization) has not yet been definitively concluded, we know that you can't really MAKE someone gay. <br /><br />And for that matter, you can't MAKE someone NOT gay.<br /><br />So, regardless about this FIVE YEAR OLD's sexuality, what do you think would have been the psycho-social-emotional effect on him had his mom told him that it was inappropriate to be Daphne and that instead he should be Iron Man or some other gender-appropriate costume?<br /><br />I suspect the effect would have been FAR more long-reaching and negative. <br /><br />Thirdly, for those of you out there who worry that his costume is not "age appropriate" I suggest you focus your concern on all those third grade girls out there who wore sexy Santa suits.<br /><br />Speaking of letting people do what they want, I also just heard about a <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/eu_britain_gay_marriage">couple in London seeking a civil union rather than marriage</a>. <br /><br />Can we just come to this agreement? I'll stay out of your business (including your religion and how you want to decorate your backyard) if you stay out of mine and just let me have my legal rights as a citizen of this fine country.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-49520487395648524982010-11-03T07:44:00.001-07:002010-11-03T07:53:38.554-07:00Championship Volleball Team<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPwD3Ds1jmxhkHeNwjt_4BNzORUaJlmKUbmuPe3xdJmnfLThmQWjglbUY4kcig0TlCF1VXMV7GhCLbK4a0aQUuS9NdJ0zoMgM7wYYrPdGJ628JxB9leJXm1oPNkgwlKAAlKdgI/s1600/ChampVolleyballs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPwD3Ds1jmxhkHeNwjt_4BNzORUaJlmKUbmuPe3xdJmnfLThmQWjglbUY4kcig0TlCF1VXMV7GhCLbK4a0aQUuS9NdJ0zoMgM7wYYrPdGJ628JxB9leJXm1oPNkgwlKAAlKdgI/s320/ChampVolleyballs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535336621224872242" /></a><br />This fall has been a whirlwind, but this past weekend we slowed down. . . Inadvertently. <br /><br />Ten is on her school's fifth grade volleyball team. <br /><br />There are so many girls in her grade that are interested in the sport that they had to create two teams. <br /><br />Anyway, her team has always been the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bad_News_Bears">Bad News Bears</a> of the two. <br /><br />So, this past Saturday they had a little tournament among the catholic schools in the area. There were three brackets and we had literally planned our day around Ten's team loosing in the first round (I was so unprepared, that the picture above was taken with my phone! I didn't even have a camera with me!?!) <br /><br />When they won, we readjusted, and at an impromptu, unplanned lunch near the tournament (we had one half unexpected hour until the second game) we discouraged Ten from even considering winning the second match and heading to the finals!<br /><br />And then they won the second match and were heading to the finals!<br /><br />BioMom was so excited --she had never participated in any sports tournament in her life (either as participant or spectator) and, with one of her own in it, she realized how incredible it was.<br /><br />We were on the edge of our seat as the last match started. Could they possibly win???<br /><br />It turned out to be the easiest of the three -- they won in two games!<br /><br />So that was our day: three exciting volleyball games culminating in a trophy! <br /><br />Pictures of Halloween to come. The kids had a blast, and then posted 102 degree fevers for the next three days!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-83260598518655763692010-10-26T07:44:00.000-07:002010-10-26T07:46:22.392-07:00My Hermiones<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcceTHlenD7OxcatUj7s-uMJtzGQ_l98b1QuBCoWS1qebb0Nw7ZgXAOoH0DipI7-nk0xMwn7k-ul-hkZDqE_B89zD61BwxE3erkZ8xvn3FdDQUBQEw5Pm7VyuIZb5Tau7SeNIo/s1600/my_hermiones.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcceTHlenD7OxcatUj7s-uMJtzGQ_l98b1QuBCoWS1qebb0Nw7ZgXAOoH0DipI7-nk0xMwn7k-ul-hkZDqE_B89zD61BwxE3erkZ8xvn3FdDQUBQEw5Pm7VyuIZb5Tau7SeNIo/s320/my_hermiones.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532365959551265298" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-18817602405894228252010-10-24T19:24:00.000-07:002010-10-24T19:31:27.706-07:00The SnoopSo upon Cousin's suggestion, I went ahead and purchased some gifts from Santa last Friday because I happened to be out-and-about and because they were available. <br /><br />A few years ago Santa brought Ten (she literally may have been five or six at the time) a Hogwarts Lego set. We had a blast putting it together between Christmas and New Years. <br /><br />This year, Lego is releasing more Harry Potter sets to coincide with the first half of the seventh movie and BioMom and I thought it'd be a perfect Santa present for the kids. <br /><br />They are LOVING Harry Potter right now. <br /><br />Ten is in the middle of writing her version of the eighth book in which the children of Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione and Malfoy are growing up themselves and off to Hogwarts. <br /><br />And Big and I have been moving our way through Harry Potter Lego Wii. He will have experienced the whole Harry Potter series exactly opposite of the way that Ten and I experienced it, beginning with Wii, then to the movies and (hopefully) to the books themselves. <br /><br />And, the pièces de résistance? They are BOTH planning to be Hermione for Halloween.<br /><br />Anyway, so I had splurged a bit, to avoid a second trip and the holiday rush, and stowed it away in the back recesses of my closet.<br /><br />In literally no less than 24 hours, Big comes rushing in the kitchen to tell me that there is a HUGE HARRY POTTER LEGO SET IN MY CLOSET AND DID I WANT TO COME AND SEE IT???<br /><br />In ten years we have nearly had birthday and Christmas presents in PLAIN SIGHT with Ten around, not aware of it.<br /><br />And now this. <br /><br />I guess we'll have to get smarter.<br /><br />Again.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-28145259557721503602010-10-18T10:06:00.000-07:002010-10-18T10:16:59.256-07:00Compartmentalization and It Gets BetterI've been so busy lately that I've completely compartmentalized all of the gay teen suicides (we've had a couple in Wisconsin lately), violence, and don't-ask-don't tell first nonsense then victory.<br /><br />Until the other day when I suddenly remembered my first girlfriend. <br /><br />A few of my readers are high-school friends who also knew Janet. <br /><br />We were each other's first kiss in the summer (was it before?) of our sophomore year. I have no idea if she would have, ultimately, lived as a lesbian.*<br /><br />Sophomore year was a hard one for us (isn't it for everyone?). Kids suspected, teased, wrote graffiti on our lockers. I suppose we'd call that bullying now, but we didn't think much of it then. Not enough to really even go to an authority about it. <br /><br />We had falling outs.<br /><br />We competed for the same slot in the winning 3200 meter relay.<br /><br />She committed suicide.<br /><br />If we had had statistics back then, I'm sure she would never have even been counted as a <a href="http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayteens/a/gaysuicide.htm">gay-teen suicide</a>. <br /><br />Again, I'm not even sure she was, really, gay.<br /><br />I wish I could talk to her now and show her that, one way or another, <a href="http://www.itgetsbetterproject.com/video/">it gets better</a>. <br /><br />*According to the <a href="http://www.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/home.html">Williams Institute</a>, something like 9 percent of adults either identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, or report having had same-sex sexual experiences.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-15707570836854357282010-10-16T18:34:00.000-07:002010-10-16T18:35:29.608-07:00Okcupid on Gays and the NumbersCheck out this<a href="http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/"> excellent post from the OKcupid blog</a>. They are a dating site and have information on literally millions of users.<br /><br />These are statisticians for the good!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-90268374429404479922010-10-12T13:38:00.000-07:002010-10-12T15:04:32.070-07:00Big and I Made the Walker Art Center's Annual Report!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgzLl_UPHwMdxycbnOB4ecOuPS8r4DnCjmkvaE2U2PKcWn44Oqis4UMInUpPfm-BHP5xwjA0zBg2lhKKCvlNViqsHakJVpCgwpb-hbldxFqMedH1gaG1h3AMc35FPdAqBcDd6Q/s1600/Walker+stars_Lisa+and+Johnny.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgzLl_UPHwMdxycbnOB4ecOuPS8r4DnCjmkvaE2U2PKcWn44Oqis4UMInUpPfm-BHP5xwjA0zBg2lhKKCvlNViqsHakJVpCgwpb-hbldxFqMedH1gaG1h3AMc35FPdAqBcDd6Q/s320/Walker+stars_Lisa+and+Johnny.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527261935829541794" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-54603080962820670012010-10-11T20:42:00.000-07:002010-10-11T20:45:45.254-07:00If it's available....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6i-_gPurMWeVZALqjUslYF9mE9JrF_aOJz2kUT0oVhXVDUoOq1JlbZrF6Fa47CO26rYKogs6RfIzS-1gbWOAME6_AXD9AfOu9ztq4f7QJUteHQK82qqgVQlx58zTntRndJQBH/s1600/IMG_2201.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6i-_gPurMWeVZALqjUslYF9mE9JrF_aOJz2kUT0oVhXVDUoOq1JlbZrF6Fa47CO26rYKogs6RfIzS-1gbWOAME6_AXD9AfOu9ztq4f7QJUteHQK82qqgVQlx58zTntRndJQBH/s320/IMG_2201.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527000048966065810" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk2QWBYJ3dAzmVRV9nn2SKPY_3xhqDTTYOVqvScalur0WI1qFiErM7ZgMB7KTinb3BEmxoIeFwNrDqhbww3pMOBEH9aLd3nbsVTmqPc2mf94yrsRnA4GIieUmpYNtBJ0PMKY7O/s1600/IMG_2328.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk2QWBYJ3dAzmVRV9nn2SKPY_3xhqDTTYOVqvScalur0WI1qFiErM7ZgMB7KTinb3BEmxoIeFwNrDqhbww3pMOBEH9aLd3nbsVTmqPc2mf94yrsRnA4GIieUmpYNtBJ0PMKY7O/s320/IMG_2328.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527000035267569202" /></a><br />So, Big just finished up his first official fall soccer season. <br /><br />He played games on Wednesdays and Fridays and, had Cousin et al. not moved, he would have played ON Cousin's girl's team.<br /><br />Yes. Cry for me.<br /><br />Anyway, Wednesdays were difficult for us. We were busy with work, and soccer put his bedtime at after 8, which is never good for our kids. So, I would often sort of run by the possibility of skipping soccer on any particular Wednesday, to Big.<br /><br />Two weeks ago, he told me, emphatically, that "if it is available [meaning soccer], I want to go!"<br /><br />And the following week he said (not as snarky as this sounds) "do you remember what I said last week?"giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-43426070662256113512010-10-04T11:31:00.000-07:002010-10-04T11:57:16.879-07:00The BMX Trip that Went BadSo the other day we took the kids and Four-of-Four to a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQTNYsKx0vk">BMX track to mess around a little</a>. Here's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayRKYh657-8">another video</a>. I thought it would be a little more accessible than a mountain bike route for our four year old. <br /><br />Little did I know how difficult it would be!<br /><br />After a few attempts, we all overcame some fears and got over hills we never expected to get over.<br /><br />It all went bad, however, when, rushing home, we saw out of the rearview that instead of having three bikes attached, there were only two.<br /><br />A poem, no less.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-62511450920531863212010-10-03T20:04:00.000-07:002010-10-03T20:31:42.858-07:00The Anti-Gay DVDSo we got the DVD's in the mail the other day.<br /><br />It sort of spooks me out that the archbishop considers me enough of a catholic to even bother to send me anything in the mail.<br /><br />Ironically, however, we got TWO copies, one addressed to both of our names, separately, the other addressed to, get this: Lisa and Sheila BioMom'sLastName. See photos attached.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbB7fRbVhw0o6MwijDZyxTvwcGTg_iB3m7x-FXT8JzjEo52PKBFJD4fWo8UhzgOWHzHCz6RPd5AWwGmEg8BL2HCJXRVxWIDh2fT0IuLRnURj1J_7n6q7jQdxIGgXmp3u0sueA/s1600/IMG_2334.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbB7fRbVhw0o6MwijDZyxTvwcGTg_iB3m7x-FXT8JzjEo52PKBFJD4fWo8UhzgOWHzHCz6RPd5AWwGmEg8BL2HCJXRVxWIDh2fT0IuLRnURj1J_7n6q7jQdxIGgXmp3u0sueA/s320/IMG_2334.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524027788138511634" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROBN28riKJI9dmy04JMJfO4UPeCxV7NRLpQpZGWS1dBaVzLAUULZe7YnyMt0Iz0IbEWZ9z0WtwTMP0g9tnIBUDwJqYwBTVtRSZsNykW3j4567TrDu12wVWilKHJ_r5MFhFOPc/s1600/IMG_2333.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROBN28riKJI9dmy04JMJfO4UPeCxV7NRLpQpZGWS1dBaVzLAUULZe7YnyMt0Iz0IbEWZ9z0WtwTMP0g9tnIBUDwJqYwBTVtRSZsNykW3j4567TrDu12wVWilKHJ_r5MFhFOPc/s320/IMG_2333.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524027704420214322" /></a><br /><br />One option, for those of you wondering what to do with your dvds, assuming you aren't using them for entertainment or educational purposes, there is a group of concerned Catholics are collecting copies of the DVD to return to the Bishops and will make a financial donation to an organization that works to serve the poor in our area for every DVD collected. We are also asking other caring Catholics to consider making a donation of their own to help the poor in Minnesota.<br /><br />Go to www.ReturnTheDVD.org to find more information on where to send your DVD, and how to make donations yourself to organizations doing the real work of Christ.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-8314109208636940972010-09-27T10:10:00.001-07:002010-09-29T07:21:14.937-07:00Out from Under the Carpet to ProtestSo its been a while since I've had the time or energy to post here. <br /><br />My apologies, dear readers. Our late-August/September takes a bit of getting used to. There's no long click-click-clicking of the rollercoaster heading to the top of the hill before its first plunge.<br /><br />No, we just get the plunge.<br /><br />Goodbye summer! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwx2xTVr4cXSHWkAALY86rkZYY2OF-7Lar6JCiXyg8DjwtlVkPLQDNpvdGh7_jgYb4oQ2LtAMVLPoLdRPYm87AJ-dDJpGEWdRyLjLDW66NE4qwI3LhjLR4_p5w-UYZ1ooD1x9g/s1600/IMG_1933-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwx2xTVr4cXSHWkAALY86rkZYY2OF-7Lar6JCiXyg8DjwtlVkPLQDNpvdGh7_jgYb4oQ2LtAMVLPoLdRPYm87AJ-dDJpGEWdRyLjLDW66NE4qwI3LhjLR4_p5w-UYZ1ooD1x9g/s320/IMG_1933-1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5522339882921555058" /></a> <br /><br />It was especially true this year because we all skipped that first, short week of classes and meetings just before Labor Day in favor of a last-summer's week together as a family at Camp Du Nord. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEB4J8ZKL4kOmaIPLokqSaTSxMKUkHiYwGdEqLupMDxMTJdlmgs0vhtPICxjjvptVuvAkKsDyE8_sx84nVk9V4HzIFpso4ZLG9KN9cjQ32_ogceA_9VDtEVU874xpzGCOP25Rw/s1600/IMG_1792.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEB4J8ZKL4kOmaIPLokqSaTSxMKUkHiYwGdEqLupMDxMTJdlmgs0vhtPICxjjvptVuvAkKsDyE8_sx84nVk9V4HzIFpso4ZLG9KN9cjQ32_ogceA_9VDtEVU874xpzGCOP25Rw/s320/IMG_1792.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5522339879330317554" /></a><br />I could not pass up, however, the opportunity to comment on the <a href="http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2010/09/mn-archdiocese-sending-anti-gay-marriage-dvd-to-800000-parishioners/">Minnesota Archdocese's attempt</a> to get into the politics of Minnesota by sending out an anti-gay marriage dvd (<a href="http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/09/22/same-sex-nienstadt/">donated by someone named Anonymous</a>) to 800,000 Catholics across the state.<br /><br />Again, I find myself astonished that I have even allowed myself to be in a situation where people-anonymous people at that-can comment on or even consider judging my life and my choices. <br /><br />Why are we going to this school and why am I in a situation where, again, we are in a position to "educate" people?giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-61215642977621878932010-08-11T19:52:00.000-07:002010-08-11T20:22:16.176-07:00NineSo I met BioMom nine years ago tonight.<br /><br />We were at a party of a mutual friend and toward the end of the night it became clear that the very next day was BioMom's birthday. <br /><br />I asked her how old she was.<br /><br />She answered the literal truth, rather than how old she would be in a mere two hours.<br /><br />I should have known what I was getting into.<br /><br />Happy Nine Sweetie!<br /><br />I'll leave the other relevant number here in its ambiguity, just like you did.giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-62950329553413310542010-08-08T07:52:00.000-07:002010-08-09T08:54:29.856-07:00The High Dive, A Summer's MetaphorIt has been such a great summer. <br /><br />One of those strange ones where time seems to be moving slowly enough to really dig in and enjoy it. <br /><br />Other people I talk to are astonished at how quickly the time has flown -- It's AUGUST already? -- whereas I am slowly getting ready to go back to school. <br /><br />It has been a good, long summer. <br /><br />We belong to a local "big" pool. This is to say that we regularly go to a pool in which the kids can actually swim. There are these great wading pools literally every mile or so in Minneapolis that we also visit regularly, but this year both kids wanted a bit more. <br /><br />So, a couple of weeks ago, we were at the big pool and Big all of a sudden noticed the diving boards.<br /><br />And, of course, immediately wanted to jump off of them.<br /><br />Both of them: the low AND the high. <br /><br />He's a fairly decent swimmer, so I was not opposed. <br /><br />After a few low-dive jumps, he decided that he'd try the high jump. He got all the way up there, walked to the end, and, seeing that it was a bit higher from that perspective, decided to wait until later. The life guard had to bail him out. <br /><br />That entire night he went on and on about how he was going to go off the high dive the next day. <br /><br />The next day, the pool was closed to his great disappointment. <br /><br />The day after that we were all good to go and he did it! I had to capture it on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch4zdNdegyU">a video</a> this year because he looks so little on that big board. <br /><br />Enjoy!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-32693659617607674202010-08-04T14:08:00.000-07:002010-08-04T14:10:12.226-07:00Overturned..... Unconstitutional!!!Judge Vaughn's ruling of California's Proposition 8!giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-6012872993139496922010-08-02T15:21:00.001-07:002010-08-02T20:01:26.927-07:00The Wide World Comforts HerI just love the book <a href="http://www.childrenslibrary.org/icdl/BookPreview?bookid=bngwhns_00260007&route=text&lang=English&msg=&ilang=English">When Sophie Gets Angry</a>. <br /><br />The art is fabulous and the story is a great way to introduce to kids the idea of being really super angry. How to <span style="font-style:italic;">be in</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">sort out</span> angry feelings.<br /><br />In the book, the girl gets mad at her sister and runs away to her safe spot, her familiar tree, and, clearly, her home-away-from home.<br /><br />I love that she is free to run and that no one is chasing after her. No one is worried that she'll be abducted or hit by a car. <br /><br />I kind of want to live where she lives and climb that old beech tree.<br /><br />Here's my rendition of a climactic point in the book on our sidewalk. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTdeenorprX0l32RpASVM7baZoql4jIeleaHMUaRjvUfkcKPcqwe-FZPcumqC0KHgqmVgae2an6y_NU2msItiEPTIJMQCwbgKE577Ih0GHRBVsd27o1tyRsQbl7mw2ZbfaX2eS/s1600/chalkart.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 146px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTdeenorprX0l32RpASVM7baZoql4jIeleaHMUaRjvUfkcKPcqwe-FZPcumqC0KHgqmVgae2an6y_NU2msItiEPTIJMQCwbgKE577Ih0GHRBVsd27o1tyRsQbl7mw2ZbfaX2eS/s320/chalkart.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500941463683457026" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9154009.post-86808349189794783012010-07-30T19:01:00.001-07:002010-07-30T19:03:23.693-07:00Summer is. . .Going off the high dive for the first time AND learning how to do the monkey bars.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaghK26hrnmh80FnKKhqSbwqjBmWjlIE2ztyrgO34po_8pj5JVpdVkvAakuPwSuYsnpbmort3eCA7dZpe9Eg1pi2E_eeqmgjUoNZwK6DKJhCRF9AFVyovjj262Kzpe681ENR0D/s1600/monkeybars.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaghK26hrnmh80FnKKhqSbwqjBmWjlIE2ztyrgO34po_8pj5JVpdVkvAakuPwSuYsnpbmort3eCA7dZpe9Eg1pi2E_eeqmgjUoNZwK6DKJhCRF9AFVyovjj262Kzpe681ENR0D/s320/monkeybars.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499885104521107122" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU0QL1fqse3mEsmLrHhiPila5FaRoGPVN4HJ4SFznPOXTszNbekIiDMUgYixcSs_jV_TlV5l9GLHVAgbGcw5cO-2wYPZ9odlbdnYnU9cjgHwEpST_aBH_1X9JrlGls9rYogYy6/s1600/monkeybars_withLucy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU0QL1fqse3mEsmLrHhiPila5FaRoGPVN4HJ4SFznPOXTszNbekIiDMUgYixcSs_jV_TlV5l9GLHVAgbGcw5cO-2wYPZ9odlbdnYnU9cjgHwEpST_aBH_1X9JrlGls9rYogYy6/s320/monkeybars_withLucy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499885093759741314" /></a>giddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02999401177122785401noreply@blogger.com0