The other day in the car, Cousin's four-year-old boy asked me:
[Blogauthor], are you a 'Mom' or a 'Dad'?
He had been curious about this issue during the past week asking questions along the same lines such as:
Does [SYO] have a 'Dad'?
Hegel's dialectic would serve me well here. If "mother", for example, is the thesis, creating its antithesis, "father", this results in a synthesis of the opposing assertions or "at least a qualitative transformation in the direction of the dialogue."
I just finished Polly Pagenhart's essay "Confessions of a Lesbian Dad" in the recently published edited volume Confessions of the Other Mother.
It was excellent.
LesbianDad: Email me when you get a chance. I can't find a way to communicate with you directly, but I'd like to express to you that we seem to be living paralell lives in many ways.
She tells a story toward the end of the essay in which her nephews inquired as to the status of her parenthood in a manner similar to Cousin's boy:
"So, Polly? Are you going to be a mama or a papa?"
I had read this essay only a couple of nights before I was posed with the same question and so it was only out of respect that I essentially plagiarized her answer (I must say that I have never been asked that particular question before. Sure, I've gotten the "are you a boy or a girl" from the curious toddler, but never the Mom/Dad question. In fact, I've mostly had the "Mom" label plastered on me out of politically correct sympathizers--especially since Big was born and, especially on Mother's day).
I'm going to be a little of both
These were Polly's words. Early blueprints for our non-biological lesbian parenting handbook in the making.
Something other than mother, but other than father too. I'll be the best parts of a mama, plus the best parts of a papa. Which, is called a baba.
I held my breath and drove us the rest of the way home.
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