Monday, July 30, 2007

Coming Out All Over Again

The other day Big and I attended a weekly event at our local branch of the public library. It was a little "story time" for kids, hosted by an animated librarian (who, incidently, I saw later that week at the Harry Potter Seven release party at our local women's bookstore).

While there, Big started goofing around with a kid about his age and his mother and I got to talking about the things that that SAH(M/MO/D etc.) talk about. She seemed interested in getting the boys together and talked of having us over for a play date.

It is at this point that I feel full disclosure is necessary. A) if someone is homophobic, I don't want to waste my time and b) if someone is homophobic I don't want to waste their time.

Coming out in this context still feels so strange and awkward to me. At one point during my "out and proud" twenties, I instated a personal moratorium on "coming out" because I felt that it was somehow confessional in nature and I had given up the Catholic Church and all of those sorts of rituals. Furthermore, I had had enough with educating.

I know that sounds immature, but gimmie a break. I was in my twenties.

I still don't usually formally come out to my students. But the reasons are different. It is probably just laziness at this point. Or maybe an assumption that everyone knows.

After attending my twentieth reunion this weekend, I came to the lovely realization that noone gave a rat's ass about it at all. It's so strange. In high school everything mattered. A bad hair day was significant (thanks to High School Friend and Taggert for processing this insight with me). And being glbt mattered in high school--on many levels.

So while discussing future school choices with the gal at the library we got to discussing the catholic school that Seven attends which happens to be only a few short blocks from both the library and this woman's house. She asked if non-catholics attended and I reassured her that yes, they did and that we were a glbt family and that we felt welcomed.

For me, now, it is all about Seven and Big. I'll cover over every crack in the China where their parent's sexuality is concerned to make them feel safe and secure in us, their family, and themselves.


hw said...

Coming out all of the time is exhausting. But, it's necessary so we do it. Or, our kids do it for us.

Vikki said...

I've always felt that having children requires us to come out over and over again and in different ways. I think we owe it to our children.