Holy Cheeks!!! He is so cute! So, now that you are through the pregnancy, birth and newborn stages, what are your reflections as to the difference between ZeYo and SYO? I know that before the birth some people were treating you as if this was your first or talked about how you might feel differently towards ZeYo than SYO, do you now have different feelings than you did pre-ZeYo? (not suggesting that your love amounts are different!)
Thanks! I will definitely have to recant my indignant reaction to that question because I definitely feel differently about ZeYo and SYO, HOWEVER, it is not what you're thinking, nor is it due to what you (one) may think.
Firstly, now, having gone through it, I wish more than ever that I had been there from the beginning with SYO. And, although this is unlikely to happen, I can, more than ever before, imagine having a third (either through me or BioMom).
Secondly, I think that both BioMom and I feel differently toward the two, but it is not about different amounts of love or whatever. Having a six year old is just an entirely different ball of wax than a zero year old. Of course that is obvious, but I don't think you can really understand unless you've experienced it. And I think it is very different than just having two kids of different ages. Such a large age difference sparks really different issues. She is so logical, and probably too smart for her maturity level. So, it has been a challenge to try to balance our compassion and energy with them. He is so much more vulnerable and dependent and has had only a few months of our attention. She, on the other hand, has had years of undivided attention, she is much more independent and less vulnerable. Plus, because she is so smart, it is hard to remember that she is only six and lacks the maturity to move past her jealousy, etc.
So, yeah. I definitely feel differently about them.
But not different amounts of love or connection per se.
2 comments:
Holy Cheeks!!! He is so cute!
So, now that you are through the pregnancy, birth and newborn stages, what are your reflections as to the difference between ZeYo and SYO? I know that before the birth some people were treating you as if this was your first or talked about how you might feel differently towards ZeYo than SYO, do you now have different feelings than you did pre-ZeYo? (not suggesting that your love amounts are different!)
Thanks!
I will definitely have to recant my indignant reaction to that question because I definitely feel differently about ZeYo and SYO, HOWEVER, it is not what you're thinking, nor is it due to what you (one) may think.
Firstly, now, having gone through it, I wish more than ever that I had been there from the beginning with SYO. And, although this is unlikely to happen, I can, more than ever before, imagine having a third (either through me or BioMom).
Secondly, I think that both BioMom and I feel differently toward the two, but it is not about different amounts of love or whatever. Having a six year old is just an entirely different ball of wax than a zero year old. Of course that is obvious, but I don't think you can really understand unless you've experienced it. And I think it is very different than just having two kids of different ages. Such a large age difference sparks really different issues. She is so logical, and probably too smart for her maturity level. So, it has been a challenge to try to balance our compassion and energy with them. He is so much more vulnerable and dependent and has had only a few months of our attention. She, on the other hand, has had years of undivided attention, she is much more independent and less vulnerable. Plus, because she is so smart, it is hard to remember that she is only six and lacks the maturity to move past her jealousy, etc.
So, yeah. I definitely feel differently about them.
But not different amounts of love or connection per se.
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