It was a few short years ago when we were considering which kindergarten Seven (then four) would attend. I, being an educator and aware of the blind-numbing effects that traditional Deweyesque forms of education have on ourselves and our children, was inclined to the extreme, new-agey sorts of educational paths which, in their uniqueness also end up being extremely expensive and attract a less-than-economically-diverse clientele (which was a major drawback for us). BioMom, having attended Catholic schools through college (the only reason she didn't go to a Catholic law school is that she didn't have the grades or the LSAT scores. . . She'd admit to this), was more inclined to the local catholic schools. I implored that they weren't the place for us. At the time, the pope had just come out and said publicly that GLBT parents were abusing their children, and I felt that the schools would follow the doctrine and our kids would hear a negative message about their family. BioMom took it on herself to go and talk personally to all of the principals in the nearby catholic schools.
BioMom: Will our daughter be in an environment that teaches her that her family has been made in the image of God like all the other kids?
The nun-principal at the Catholic school across the lake (the one that I preferred actually due to its start-time and because there was a bus that would drop her off and pick her up neatly at our corner) actually responded:
Nun-Principal (uncomfortably and with bugged out eyes according to BioMom): Oh, uh, well, uh, we've never had this situation before but. . . I think that you would be allowed to attend the school. . .
Needless to say, that was all it took for us to put the kebosh on that school.
BioMom's bravery in consistently questioning teachers and other authorities in our kids' lives about being sons and daughters of GLBT parents felt second-nature to her. Being a GLBT parent is, somehow, like coming out all over again, except now with more responsibility. In many ways it is similar to the realization that you should start taking vitamins and exercising when you have kids. Your decisions carry a greater weight now.
At the same time though, we walk that strange tightrope of not making too much of being our kids' GLBT parents. Our kids are more than just the sons and daughters of GLBT parents and I hope that they are not defined by that gradeschool rant (that we hear, thankfully, only occasionlly): You can't have two moms!?!
In the paraphrased words of bell hooks: Forget that I am a black woman but don't ever forget that I am a black woman.