I think that what I'm concerned about with this job decision thing is, what will my life look like if I give up my job/career in ten years or so when the kids' life starts to take off. Will my life wane as theirs waxes?
This eclipse is natural.
Even desirable.
I'm sitting next to the both of them right now, making an exception to our Lenten pledge of "no tv" (which, I must say, only BioMom has really ignored!) to watch the first episode of American Idol: the top twelve girls. I look over at the two of them on the couch right now, she, engrossed in the show, he engrossed in her. And, well, MOVING. That's all he wants to do, really is move. And imitate her. And I am willingly, hopefully, enchantedly eclipsed by them; their energy, their pureness, their light, their optimism, their lack of cynicism. Their hope.
I just had Seven's parent-teacher-conference and it felt like Obamamania in there: YES SHE CAN!!!
But will I be satisfied with this eclipse in 15 years when Big's off to college and Seven's off to her life?
I wish our eclipse could be like the moon's tonight's: Beautiful and intense, but brief. A moment to stop and respect the alignment of the sun, earth and moon. Right now I am aligned with Seven and Big. Our orbits coincide and it is deeply satisfying. Their time is still mine and I can lavish in it.
But will it be the same when we are not so aligned. When we are not all three on the couch together enjoying the same entertainment (both Idol and Big running around doing somersaults on the couch)?
If the alignment is not forever nor should be the eclipse.
1 comment:
good luck with your decision-- I hope you find the wisdom you are looking for.
Post a Comment