Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Alternative Plot Line for The Kids Are All Right

Okay so I've been a little obsessed with how I should feel about the hetero-affair in the Kids Are All Right.

Mark Harris of Entertainment Weekly, for example (as pointed out over at Mombian) that it is really a movie about marriage. And a great one at that.

He writes:
I couldn’t remember the last time I saw such a good film about being married. . . . I was startled to realized that the best ones that occurred to me—The Awful Truth, His Girl Friday, Kramer vs. Kramer, Shoot the Moon—were all (a) about divorce and (b) at least 30 years old.

The Kids Are All Right . . . celebrates the journey through marriage in a way that, for the movies, is quietly revolutionary. . . . Make what you will of the bitter irony that the first really great, believable married couple on screen in ages cannot legally marry. . . . This is marriage as you’ve rarely seen it, except perhaps in the bathroom mirror. . . .

[Director Lisa Cholodenko] doesn’t sanctify Nic and Jules as pioneers of social progress. . . . They’re not intended to be role models or billboards for gay coupledom. They and their marriage are, however, recognizably human, which this summer counts as one giant leap in the right direction.

So yeah. I get that.

But here's my alternative, and much better plot line that keeps the heart of what the existing movie is, but adds to it and keeps everyone happy:

1. Paul (sperm donor) is married.
2. Paul meets Laser and Joni. Hi-jinks ensue.
3. Paul's relationship with the kids develops and he is a mixed influence. Jules and Nic are concerned. Paul's wife is involved in the periphery (initially).
4. Paul's wife wants to hire Jules to landscape their backyard. Paul is gone at work during the days. His wife and Jules get closer, eventually have an affair.
. . .
The rest plays out the exact same way HOWEVER
5. The affair brings Paul and Nic closer, and the influence of Paul on the kids weighs toward the good.

Here's the REAL kicker: Paul's wife is played by Portia de Rossi.

What do you think?


Cousin said...

This is just your feeble attempt to make lezbo porn a little more "appetizing"!!!

giddings said...