Okay, so in my worst parenting moments I cannot risk imitating (and exaggerating) the offending behavior.
My most recent WPM (worst parenting moment) occured after the FYO, in her zest to consume the delicious and rare elixer called "root beer", literally lifted it to her lips, threw back her head and gulped for at least five minutes straight without breathing.
It was as though she were a starving lioness protecting her kill for her babies. She acted the way that I picture holocaust victims described by Viktor Frankl scarfing their measly rotten weekly bread ration with the full awareness that there may be no more in the near future. He described perfectly rational,erstwhile professional and/or polite, friends/lovers/acquaintences go out of their mind in this context, hoarding over the scraps of food with their very lives at stake.
Okay, this is a bit of an exaggeration. But the FYO was definitely planning on drinking the entire bottle in ONE. LONG. SWIG.
Anyway, I could not resist taking my can of diet coke and lifting to my lips, throwing back my entire body (not just my head) so that I nearly fell out of my chair and the soda spilled all over my shirt.
Let's just say it made an impression.
Probably not a good or constructive one.
But an impression none-the-less.
Sometimes I literally have no idea how BioMom can stand me.