Friday, March 11, 2005

Birthday Song Dialogue

Subtitle: Why the FYO will need therapy to deal with all of the controlling women in her life

Scene: videotape of the FYO sitting in front of Grandma's store-bought chocolate cake with five burning crayola-look-a-like candles.

Grandma: Are you ready for the singing?

FYO, barely audible: uh huh.

All: Audible deep breath. . . Happy birthday to you. . .
FYO: Gets a VERY serious look on her face.

All: Happy birtday TO YOU.

FYO: Abruptly brings up pointer finger toward one of the candles. Closer. . . Closer.

BioMom, during the downbeat of the song: DON'T TOUCH!

FYO, rushing to explain herself, still during the downbeat of the song: I was just. .

All: Happy birthday . . .

Grandma: Look up here at the camera!

FYO, looking up: All smiles and singing, now, with the group to herself.

All: Dear [FYO]. Happy birthday to you!


BioMom: Can you blow 'em out?

FYO, collecting herself and preparing to blow: Blows, but none go out.

Grandma: Harder!


FYO: Blows again, but this time only 4/5 go out.

Grandma: Whoa! ONE MORE!

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