Would You, Could You, In The Suburbs?

SAHM* I am?

Okay so while I am cherishing this time home with Big, a true SAHM I am not.

We started taking a little baby class today in the nearest (snootiest) suburb.

I'm being way judgemental here, after only one hour's meeting, but the moms there were BUGGIN! Maybe I need to find a dad's group. This is the problem with this nether-world of in-between parenting. Unless I join a GLBT parenting group I will always be not-quite-mom and not-quite-dad.

Big had had only a 20 minute nap and so he was a little spacey and distracted. At one point (prior to the intro/drone-on-about-my-kid part of the class), Big had crawled to the opposite side of the circle, found my keys, and proceeded to pacify himself with the fob (my new favorite word).

When it got to be my turn for introductions, I avoided the whole "other mom" thing (only because I couldn't figure out how to work it in... I can't WAIT to bring it up), and introduced Big. Before I could even finish (he has an older sister blah blah blah), Eddie's Mom interrupts me: "Are those YOUR keys????"

WTF? As if I'd let him ruin someone else's fob. Nice.

She was also the mom that takes those little online mom suggestions to chat incessantly to your toddler.

"Eddie! Do you see the little boy? Turn around and look at the other little boy here! Can you turn around? You two are the only little boys here! The rest are little girls!"

To Big after he had giggled at something: "OHHH! You've got your own inside jokes, don't you?"

I can't help but question this advice. Speaking nonsense to your kids in what sounds like a condescending tone can't be good. Plus, how will they ever develop their own internal voice?

"Okay Big, time for your nappie-poo while Baba enjoys her (liquid) green eggs and ham**!"

*Stay At Home Mom
**Glass of wine