BioMom and I are living in a parallel universe.
This pregnancy is about 4 days off of the one we experienced last year. The baby is due on December 12th whereas last year the due date was December 8th. So everything we're experiencing now is shifted slightly to the right.
Its like watching a movie on acid.
But its more than that. So many of the same things that happened last year are happening again but, and we're counting on this, they are the negative (or the positive) of last year.
A year ago this weekend was the miscarriage.
It was such a horrible day and left such lasting repercussions on our relationship that we have, consciously or unconsciously avoided some of the things we did that day since then.
It was a rainy day. The start of many (both literally and figuratively). We went to the Farmer's Market with HFRM#1 and got a bunch of annuals for the garden.
We have literally not been back to the Farmer's Market. I can't even remember where we had lunch, but recently BioMom said that wherever it was, it was the first and last time she'd been there.
My brother visited this past week, the same week he visited last year. And on that night last year I got news of a bad pap, which scared the hell out of us. This, too, was rectified this year.
Its supposed to be sunny this weekend. The first sun we will have seen in weeks. So, I am hoping that this, too, is the harbinger of good things to come.
Cousin said it best the other day. She said that the parallel universe is nature's way of helping us to let go of that terrible season more thoroughly. To erase one terrible past and replace it with a better one.
At 10.3, still holding our breaths.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
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